There are these moments when everything is good, you are surrounded by people that you love, your refrigerator is stocked, your bills are paid, and you are enjoying life. Then your boss requests your monthly report two weeks ahead of schedule, the baby sitter gets sick and cancels for the week, the hot water heater in your basement busts, and you discover that you cannot fit any of your winter clothes from last year. These are what I call the peaks and the valleys of life. It’s the moment your baby smiles at you with those precious eyes and simultaneously lets breakfast explode all over you and the cream lounge chair your sitting in. Who wants that perfect love story anyway?
My week began with my daughter meeting two new friends, Mr. Cold and Mrs. Fever. I’m sure this is one of many play dates they’ll all have during her lifetime, but I was undone by the situation. Thankfully, I got her fever to break within less than 24 hours. None-the-less, I was not enthused about leaving her to go to my evening classes. I planned on turning in my work and skipping out, but class greeted me with a 110 on one midterm. Yay! I decided to stick around.
The middle of our week tangoed with our daughter’s 9-month wellness appointment and my day trip to NYC for a speaking engagement. We left her wellness visit with a clean bill of health! My trip to NYC was a success business-wise, but the night ended with my cab driver accidentally driving into oncoming traffic on the wrong side of the street. Escaping by inches from a head on collision without a seatbelt, I thanked God immensely when I entered my home to the sight of my husband and baby girl peacefully sleeping.
With two amazing business calls completed, my husband not being selected for jury duty, and a surprise invite to a kids Halloween party five minutes away from our home, it was TGIF for The Middletons. Genesis looked super cute in her butterfly costume, my husband got the chance to talk beer and sports with other men, and I met another work from home mom happy to share love and war stories. It was the perfect ending to our bi-polar week. But of course my husband gets a call that his store was robbed and he must report to the scene immediately… Happy Halloween, should you celebrate!
None of what I am describing is anything out of the ordinary for the contradictory days most people encounter throughout their existence. Life is full of peaks and valleys, and the faster you climb up the mountain the faster you encounter its depths. I use to strive for perfection, or at least what I thought perfection was. I desired a life without blemish. To me perfection represented acceptance, a state of belonging. I wanted to be perfect, because my perfection would make me feel whole, complete without lost.
Then I lost, I lost a lot, and I lost some more, and I realized that in the losing I also gained. I realized that the lost added to my character just as much as anything I gained. The lost was just as important if not more important than the gain, because it prepared me for what I was not yet ready to receive. Losing my son made me a better mother for my daughter. I know this to be true. Losing my great-grandmother made me more accepting of providence, and the death of my mother opened up my heart again.
These are extreme cases that some may not be able to relate to, but the message is clear. In order to climb the higher mountain, we have to meet it at the lowest depth. My daughter getting sick made me more appreciative of her clean bill of health during her wellness visit. Almost being injured or worse in car collision humbled my spirit to the sweet peace and fullness of joy there is to be found in our own homes with our own families. As tedious as 7-hours of unnecessary jury duty was for my husband, it positioned his absence from the wrong time at the wrong place.
There is a moon and there is a sun. There is man and there is woman. There is dirt and then there is grass. There is a baby and then there is poop. “Like love and a marriage go together like a horse and carriage.” This is perfection, wholeness, and the sweet surrender to the flow of it all. No, the valley’s are not like the peaks, but they too can be appreciated and greeted with love. If the baby cries, comfort him. If it snows, make a snowman. If your clothes don’t fit, enjoy making a vision board for your new look.
If the master of the universe saw it fit to create night and day, who are we to not be thankful that He gave us two forms of light instead of one.
Resistance to the moment is war not peace, and who really has energy for that?
CJM
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